The Aphasia Program
Greetings, my friends. What I have to discuss is a matter of interest to all of you. I am here to bring you the full story of what happened on that fateful day in order to provide you with knowledge and comfort for your future. I’m part of a scientific foundation dedicated to performing research and experimentation to discover anything that may help us against the Soviets and other potential threats. We do all sorts of scientific work. We have a division examining samples from those mysterious blobs that wash up on beaches around the world, and that’s the most normal and harmless section. Another division is experimenting to increase the size of animals, such as locusts, ants, mantises, scorpions, crabs, shrews, and Gila monsters. From what I’ve seen the results have not been good, but maybe something can be salvaged from them. Other experiments conducted by the organization have not gone well either. One scientist conducted an experiment in teleportation, but apparently something went horribly wrong during testing. A fly got into the testing chamber during the experiment, some DNA got mixed together, and, well, the resulting mutations were not pretty. Another scientist performed an experiment meant to give himself x-ray vision. He disappeared some time ago. He was last seen at a tent revival, but no one seems to know for sure what happened to him after that. One division performed some kind of experiment with radiation. The head scientist seemed to be agitated and saddened by whatever resulted from that, constantly mumbling something about “progress.” One of the stranger incidents occurred when one of our scientists made reports about some kind of space monster. This was of great interest because many of us had speculated what kinds of creatures, if any, might be dwelling in the cosmos. Could there be some kind of cosmic men, or some kind of cat-like moon beings? Might there be sulfur-eating monsters, anti-matter space buzzards with giant claws, or monstrous gastropods that could prove a challenge? When asked to summarize his findings, however, he reported that there never was a monster, and began talking instead about the status of our nation’s space program. This baffled us, and we wondered why he expected us to take his statement at face value and not have questions. We never received a satisfactory answer concerning that matter. The latest project by the foundation was the creation of a program to induce nominal aphasia in an otherwise normal subject. Nominal aphasia, also known as anomic aphasia and anomia, is a condition in which one has difficulty remembering and recognizing words. Normally it occurs as a result of a head injury or a stroke, but in this case it’s induced via an irresistible hypnotic effect on the human brain. The program was conceived as an effective method of foiling enemy agents, leaving them unable to decipher messages or relay instructions to superiors and allies. It could be broadcast over radio waves as well as television broadcasts. In fact, it was determined that the program affected the subjects at a quicker and more effective rate if viewed on a screen. Within a few minutes of exposure (or just a couple of minutes if the exposure occurred via the viewing of a screen), the subject would suddenly have difficulty deciphering words. The words would gradually appear more and more nonsensical until they appeared to be complete gibberish. After that the subject’s speech and hearing would become affected. Spoken words would sound like gibberish as well, and the subject would lose the ability to form comprehensible words. The effects will eventually wear off on their own, but we have not yet determined when. Since the testing was a success, we were ready to move forward to the next stages. However, something happened. As they were preparing to create an antidote program, something that those fools should have created concurrently with the aphasia program, the aphasia program was stolen. We had kept a copy of the source code in two separate safes to make sure it was secure. One of the safes went missing. It was later found on the property, but its door was broken and the code had been stolen. An investigation is being made into how this could have happened, but the main concern isn’t just how we were infiltrated or betrayed; it’s also the fact that the program now has the potential to be broadcast to the public, either accidentally or intentionally. If that happens, there’s a danger of widespread panic and chaos among the populace. Fortunately, we still have one copy of the source code. We are working on the antidote program in order to cure any subjects who have already been exposed and to prevent the effects of any further exposure. Until this crisis is resolved, the importspnt thlmng to do ine to remsplmn calfo annt dat natt pspaiic. Wri abbri fratfo bohe roouleraiforint, spnd nde’rri neribbri boat neriyehl. BBriforifoayribb, Lm’fo hlgyyeyelmairo lyatbb buatgy; ndri’bbri spyeye lbai bonelbne boatroriboneribb. By Raidra Category:Stories Category:Short story Category:Raidra Category:Comedy stories